Monday, August 6, 2007

When God shows up at lunch

I had an impromptu lunch with a friend today.

Thai food. We barely ate any of it because we were talking so much. Ever have one of those lunches?

I heard the other day that "When you open up to people, people open up to God." Well, today, my friend opened up to me about something in her life. I was left with so much compassion, because I've been in the exact same spot. I told her this. I guess you can say we bonded.

Then, after we prayed about her situation, I decided to open up to her about an even deeper issue that I had faced. I won't go into details, but lets just say it was one of those deep, dark "skeletons-in-the-closet" type things that you think you'd just die if someone found out about you. It was years ago, but it still haunts me. And although I know I have been forgiven, well, I still have to check in with God every now and then. I ask Him "Still forgiven?" and He says "Yes" and I can almost feel Him smile at my unbelief. Almost.

So there I was, at lunch, telling my friend something I thought I'd never say out loud.

And I felt God. I felt God so strongly inside of me that my hands were trembling and my stomach was turning and I was sweating. Tears welled up. I knew that God was at my side as I started to speak. Even now as I type this, my hands are cold and I still feel nervous.

I'll admit: I thought about staying silent this afternoon. I thought about chalking it all up to indigestion and a poor nights sleep. I thought about keeping my story to myself.

But God had different plans, and I opened my mouth.

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

When I began my story, as the two of us sat in my car, my friend put her hand on mine. She looked into my eyes and listened. I searched her face for judgement. I watched her body language. Would she ever see me the same again?

I have one word for you: Freedom. There is freedom in following through on what God is asking you to do - no matter how scared you are. There is a reason that God wanted me to talk to my friend today. I'm not sure what it was - maybe it was even more for my benefit than hers, but whatever the case, I know that God was asking me to take a giant leap of faith... and I did it. Freedom.

I'm reminded, again and again: there is nothing like living a life centered around what God has for you. There is nothing like saying "Here I am. All of me." A warning though... When you say that to God, you'd better believe He's going to respond with "OK! Here We Go!"

Today was a big day. And it's only one o'clock. I'm sort of exhausted.

Sincere love,
Sarah

3 comments:

we like malt said...

hi sarah- this is megan. you were sad that no one comments on your blog so i decided i would! thank you so much for today. i had a great time and i'm even more excited about it than i was before! thank you-thank you- thank you!!
-megan

nicholei said...

I think that a lot of times people feel that they must conceal things because they are alone in the matter but the truth is that there is freedom in being open about how we feel or what we've done. This post is powerful. Thank you for sharing! =]

Chelsie said...

Hello Sarah,

Thank you for sharing the secret places of your heart. I'm so glad you were able to find freedom in choosing to be faithful to God. I thought of this verse for you.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sactify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be found blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it."
1 Thess. 5:23-24

Because of Christ,

Chelsie