Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Back and Forth

So last night, watching Jon & Kate plus 8, I started to think what I normally think every Monday at 9pm (when the new episodes come on).

Hmmmm... I wonder when we should have another baby.

See, when I watch Jon and Kate with all their little kids, I think - Hey, I can handle two.

So Joel and I talked (again) as we often do, every few weeks, about when we should have another one. Joel and his brother are very close in age, and he loved growing up with a buddy. My brother and I are 9 years apart, and that was great, too, because I loved helping out when he was a newborn. Obviously there is no right-or-wrong way to go about this... I'm just thinking out loud.

As far as feeling "ready" for another baby, well, I go back and forth. I remember the struggles I faced right after I had Olivia. It was so hard! I cried so much. I was petrified that it was my responsibility to keep this little thing alive. The sleep deprivation, the hormones, the depression at first was overwhelming. BUT eventually it got easier. We got through it. And it's so great now. And who's to say I will have that same experience again? My guess is I'll handle it better the second time around.

Then, I think, everything has just gotten so calm in our lives...do I really want to rock the boat? Olivia is finally sleeping through the night consistently - and it's heavenly. I'm rested and refreshed each day, and so is she. We've got our little routine down when we go anywhere - and everything just seems.... easy. A new baby would mean starting all over again!

Oh...and then theres the 9 months of pregnancy. That was a loooong ride. I was exhausted and so sick at first. Am I ready to do that all again? And this time with a toddler running around? I know there are people that do it - I just don't know if I'm ready. Am I?

How did you know when you were ready for baby #2?



Lyndsay said...

My son Owen was born shortly after Olivia and we got pregnant again when he was 8 months old. I'm about a month and a half away from giving birth to our second son Jack. It definitely hasn't been easy being pregnant running around after a toddler! I'm exhausted a lot of the time, but thankfully Owen understands and as long as I sit on the floor he'll bring me toys and we'll play together. As for when you know you're ready. I don't think there is such a thing as knowing. It's like saying you're going to wait until your financially ready to have kids...you'll probably end up never having kids then!

I have some different views when it comes to birth control as my husband and I never went back on it after having Owen. I just figure God will bless us with as many kids as he wants us to have. I struggled for 6 years with infertility and underwent many treatments and never got pregnant. Once we stopped all that boom I was pregnant with Owen. God is so good! I'm not sure if I'll ever go back on birth control because his plans are better than mine anyway.

anne said...

I am with Lyndsay...are you ever really ready for the responsibility of a new life? If you wait until you "feel" ready, you may never have another one...which is okay too. :)

malerie said...

I've been mulling over the same question the last few months. At first I was so glad to be "un-pregnant" that I thought we'd wait quite awhile. Now that Maiya sleeps through the night and we feel like I've gotten the hang of things, we've realized that having kids who are close in age is important to us. I was the oldest kid and cousin, and growing up I didn't feel like I fit in with the kids or the adults at family gatherings- I don't want Maiya to feel that way being that she will be in the same place!

...of course I can't imagine having a 4 month old and another newborn- but if you think of it in terms of a 1 year old and a new born (or a 2 year old in your case) I think it feels totally different.

Pregnancy and new mamahood is hard, but I think everything will be so much easier the second time! I was so filled with anxiety for the first- but now I feel so much more confident! I am so excited to do it all again!

...Whenever the Lord blesses you with your second, I can't wait to see the "we're expecting blog!" :)

Anonymous said...

I am totally in the same spot as you. I had a very rough first year-not because of my precious daughter, but because of my post partum depression and severe anxiety. Plus I'm still dealing with some physical healing from delivery, which limits my activity which is hard because I have been so active all my life. I don't know how mamas do it with two such young sweethearts-it's busy and challenging with just one! So when you find an answer, let us know!! Cause right now I'm leaning more toward just having an only child but then I feel bad for my daughter not having a buddy...


Matt & Eva said...

Oh my gosh I can't wait to be pregnant again Sarah. There is nothing like that feeling of life growing inside you. Even with the months of morning sickness, bedrest, and a c-section, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Matt on the other hand, doubtful. I have to finish school first. :)